


How to Attract Lan Wangji's Rabbits

by kisankishu



Series: Grandmaster of Demonic Headcanons [2]
Category: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Mo Dao Zu Shi, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Bunnies, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Rabbits, alexa play despacito, part three already?? why do you guys actually like this, part two bc apparently you all love this, this is a joke i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-08-14 03:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20185831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisankishu/pseuds/kisankishu
Summary: Wei Wuxian asks why Lan Wangji's fluffy friends love him so much, and he gets an unexpected answer.For every 1k hits this gets I write another chapter.





	1. Wei Wuxian Learns a Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I swear this is a joke; I wrote it in 15 minutes.

It was just a normal day in the Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian was playing with his Lan Zhan's rabbits, who continually tried to hop away from him. _Oh no you don't_, he snickered while sweeping as many as he could into his arms and gently hugging them.  
  
"Wei Ying." Lan Zhan's voice came from behind him, startling him and allowing the rabbits to wriggle free as they rushed over to their owner.  
  
"Er-gege~!" The Yiling Patriarch whined. "Your rabbits don't love me! I don't understand why!"  
  
"Mn," replied Lan Zhan, who had started to pet his numerous bunnies as he watched the grown man pout about a few tiny animals.  
  
"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!" The previously pouting grown man suddenly burst out into laughter. "You're covered in bunnies! Why, I bet they think you're one of them, too!"  
  
Lan Wangji only shook his head and smiled slightly. "It is not only because I raised them, but also because I do one other thing."  
  
"Hm? What is it?" Wei Wuxian was suddenly curious. "You've never said anything about another thing before."  
  
"I am about to tell you."  
  
"I see, I see!" He vigorously nodded his head. "So if I say what you say, then they'll love me too?"  
  
"Mn."  
  
"Alright then, what do I say?"  
  
Lan Zhan, with a completely straight face, said three words that Wei Ying had never expected to hear from his mouth nor knew the meaning of: "Alexa, play 'Despacito.'"  
  
To Wei Wuxian's amazement, the rabbits started jumping on his Han Guang-Jun with even greater fervor. He didn't know how to react, so he simply threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"I never imagined I'd hear something so confusing from you, Er-gege! Hahahahaha, you really have managed to figure out how to make me speechless! I thought the first time was just a fluke, but I guess not. Let's see now, will this really work? Alexa, play 'Despacito!'"  
  
He let out a yelp as he was attacked by the tiny furballs, "Er-gege! Er-gege! Help~!"  
  
Lan Zhan, who was simply content to watch him be attacked by the mound of fluff, only replied with a simple "Mn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a joke, but I hope you at least enjoyed the read!


	2. Jin Ling Gets Roped in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So basically... you all wanted Chapter 2, you got Chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got 1k hits. Why are you all doing this to me? Then again, I chose to write this. I don't regret it.

Jin Ling heard laughing. Laughing? At Cloud Recesses? He assumed it could only be his annoying uncle, as Lan Jingyi hadn't been around recently. The idiot had been going on more night hunts with Lan Sizhui as of late, so Jin Ling didn't get to see them very often anymore.  
  
"Stupid Lan guys," he muttered. "Always going off without me."  
  
_Though it is partially my fault_, he mused. After all, he was rather busy himself in Jin Sect.  
  
The laughter snapped him out of his thoughts as it had grown continually louder to the point where he couldn't ignore it anymore. Annoyed, he pushed through the trees and tracked it to what he knew was Hanguang-Jun's small area left for his group of rabbits. Sitting in the middle of the horde of rabbits was his uncle, as he had expected. What he didn't expect was that the rabbits were actually... playing with him? What manner of demonic cultivation was Wei Wuxian using _this_ time?  
  
"Uncle! What the hell are you doing!?" Jin Rulan had finally started calling him the name he technically owned, even though it was slightly cancelled out by him storming towards the carefree man.  
  
"Jin Ling!" Wei Ying happily waved at him from underneath the mound of rabbits. "What are you doing here? Never mind, I'm just glad I get to see you!"  
  
"Answer my question first," his nephew snapped.  
  
"What does it look like? Lan Zhan's rabbits love me now!"  
  
Jin Ling just shook his head. "They hate you though! How'd you manage to do that?"  
  
"Simple!" Wei Wuxian laughed in giddiness and anticipation of Jin Ling's reaction. "All you have to say is 'Alexa, play Despacito!' and they'll love you!"  
  
His nephew somehow managed to sputter out, "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?" as the rabbits jumped happily on his uncle.  
  
"Hehe, just try it!"  
  
Jin Ling sighed. "I better not regret this. Alexa, play Despaci-"  
  
His words were cut off with a yelp as the rabbits abandoned his uncle and surrounded him instead. As he struggled, his uncle fell back and kicked his legs as he laughed out loud.  
  
"Uncle! What did you even do?" Were Jin Ling's final words as the rabbits won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this gets another 1k hits I write another chapter... thanks Kayra.


	3. The Mini Lans Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui returned. However, the always rambunctious Jingyi goes to find their Jin Sect friend, and Sizhui can only sigh as he follows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit to get out! I've been pretty busy...

"We're back!" Lan Jingyi called out, momentarily forgetting his sect's rules. Lan Sizhui sighed beside him as they walked, searching for their friend.

"We should go find Senior Wei," he suggested in hopes of quieting his friend. "Jin Ling will most likely be with him since he was not at Lotus Pier with Sect Leader Jiang nor at his own home."

His attempts were futile, however, as Lan Jingyi had already run off towards Lan Wangji. "Hanguang-Jun! Hanguang-Jun! Do you know where Jin Ling is?"

"Mn. With Wei Ying."

"Thanks!" And the unbridled teen ran off again, Lan Sizhui sighing and following him once more. He did not see Lan Wangji softly smiling at his retreating figure, proud of his adopted son.

"Hey! Jin Ling! Hanguang-Jun said you were with Master Wei! Where are you!?"

A muffled voice came from nearby. "Ovber hereee!"

When the two followed the voice, they saw Wei Wuxian sitting there, hands on his stomach, laughing so hard that you couldn't hear it. He pointed at a fluffy mound, and their eyes followed his finger to see yellow robes under the furry pets.

Lan Jingyi snorted. "Jin Ling! Who said you could start having fun without us!? Master Wei, how do I get the rabbits to jump on us like that too?"

"Dom't doo iett!" Came from the bunnies.

"All you gotta say is 'Alexa, play Despacito', and they'll come running, Jingyi! Hahahahaha!" Wei Wuxian somehow managed to gasp through his tears of laughter.

Lan Sizhui was very, very confused. Where did he even start with that information? His friend was all too enthusiastic to join in, however, and shouted it out. "Alexa, play Despacito!"

They both yelped in surprise as their illustrious Hanguang-Jun's peaceful rabbits jumped on them with renewed fervor. Neither of them had expected that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series is getting more and more ridiculous as it continues, ha!


End file.
